Peer pressure and influence are nothing new. We have all been in a position where we felt pressured into doing something that we were not comfortable with. However, there was a huge desire to be accepted by those applying the pressure. So we did it anyway. The cool kids with the influence choose who is in versus who is considered an outcast. But what is the consequence when this is no longer happening in a vacuum? This used to happen in a closed environment with only a handful of people who would bear witness to what truly happened. Word would get around rather quickly but grow more into rumors than fact. In the fully realized age of social media, it is no longer happening in a vacuum. It is happening in real-time. All evidence is recorded and shared for everyone to see. It can be even more devastating to those involved, especially when it leads to disciplinary action.
Students of all ages are left to learn how to deal with the reality of peer pressure and influence on social media, often on their own. The same rules apply as they always have; It is challenging to say no in the face of peer pressure and just as challenging to ask for help from a parent or guardian. Parents have certain expectations regarding their children’s use of social media. However, the topic of appropriate use is often just as challenging for adults. There are so many heartbreaking stories in the news of students posting content that is reckless and damaging their reputation.
Influence from peers is just the tip of the iceberg. Pop culture, entertainers, musicians, and now social media influencers are all vying for attention on social media. But, again, this is nothing new as we have all lived through someone telling us we shouldn’t be listening to, watching, or doing whatever whoever was doing. So how do we contain this when it is on 24/7 and never shuts off? Violent video games, music, and movies are more controversial than ever, with unlimited access to content. Students post pictures of weapons, with a few eluding to violence. Others are even bringing weapons into schools and showcasing them on social platforms. In instances of fashion, looking a certain way is essential in keeping up with influencers, models, and actresses. Unfortunately, it is so constant that it creates anxiety and depression for some who cannot keep up with current trends or lack confidence in their beauty.
There is very little proactive support or ability to give appropriate guidance in the heat of the moment. We are, unfortunately, forced to live in a reactive state in which the damage has already been done. A lack of proactive support becomes disciplinary action taken with potential consequences for years to come. Experience is sometimes the best medicine. Let’s just hope it is a minimal and insignificant dose of humility in most cases.
Slip of the Thumb
In this episode, we explore a situation in which a student was pressured into an act that ultimately ended in disciplinary action: suspension. A freshman in a mid-west high school was chatting back and forth and laughing with some friends while in science class. The teacher asked the friends to keep quiet during dedicated work time. School is long. School can be tedious and exhausting at times. Sometimes you just need to few minutes to recharge with your friends. But when fatigued and not at your best, you make poor decisions. The group was unhappy with the teacher, and the girls decided to show their contempt for the comment. The group began quietly plotting and strongly suggested that one of the girls do something to the teacher. There was some hesitancy, but after more pressure, one of the girls took action; She flipped off the teacher. But before the girl flipped off the teacher, one of the girls pulled out her phone to record the incident.
Fortunately, the teacher is facing away from the students and is none the wiser. There is no harm if the video is kept as a memory between friends. It just becomes another moment in a vacuum for those that witnessed the event. There may even be a few others who witnessed the incident and may share the story with others, but then it becomes lost in the wind. What happens if that video surfaces on social media? First, it is viewed, shared, and liked so much that it becomes visible to a teacher or aid. Then it is brought to the attention of the principals and superintendents. Next comes embarrassment for those involved, which is precisely what happened in this case.
The video surfaced on social media a month after the incident. It was flagged, and the principal moved to expel the student, considering the action a direct threat to the teacher. The student was wearing her softball uniform in the video to make matters worse. After lengthy discussions between parents and administrators, a decision was made. The student in the video would be suspended from school for two weeks. In addition, she would not be eligible to play softball for the remainder of the season. As for the rest of the group, the person who recorded and posted the video would not be punished. The other girls who encouraged her to do something to the teacher would also not face disciplinary action. Instead, what could have been an insignificant moment became a nightmare for a young and impressionable student.
Takeaway
There is always something to take away from these types of incidents. Talk with your children, nieces, nephews, students, or whoever is in your life about the impacts and consequences of social media misuse. The power of peer pressure and influence is now magnified 10-fold, and we are no longer living in times where incidents are private. It can and will be exposed, and there is nothing worse than having a moment in your life scrutinized because someone was allowed to record you and post it for the world to view. Pause and consider the consequences. #PostResponsibly
Contributed by J. Michael Warne
